it has been a while since i've updated about anything in regards to my life. it would be insane to try to list it all out here since a good six months have elapsed since my last post, but i guess i can still try.

• migrated my blog to neocities (evidently)
• adopted two kittens
• started therapy again
• started a shoegaze/emo/indietronica band with my friend (per his words, "we wouldn't outright call ourselves any of that, but it's what we have been compared to")
• got preemptively diagnosed with me/cfs aka chronic fatigue syndrome
• girlfriend got covid
• got promoted at my very corporate job
• playing my first show in a couple days
• mother's cancer relapsed
• started volunteering at a radical bookstore

i give up. i've been waiting for things to slow down for a while, but i think the thing about my life is that things rarely ever slow down. it's a double edged sword. i hate stagnation and a lack of change, but i miss the quiet.

i guess most things haven't changed in that sense. except for the recent possibility of me being chronically ill. that's a pretty big change. one that could make it nearly impossible for me to change anything else from that point forward. poetic justice. or punishment, maybe.

i'm just glad to be still able to make things, this blog included. i think maybe enough wellbutrin had accumulated in my body to movtivate me to learn html and css again. i used squarespace to host my previous site, which came with an entire slew of problems, the most notable being that its corporate-minimalist branding just made it incredibly difficult for me to publish anything without trying to sanitize it in some self-apologetic manner. i figured moving to somewhere much more lo-fi would be a more inviting environment to cultivate my creative pursuits.

i guess i was right, because i've been inexplicably learning scrappy front-end code for the past couple of days without worrying about it being bad. i'm actually having fun with it, which is something my 14-year old self would have never believed. i'm sure i'll burn out and quit violently, but i'm just glad i've established a decent enough base code to continue posting here without having to code much more if that were to happen.

if you followed me to yet another platform for my projects, thank you for bearing with me. i'll be filling out the rest of this site whenever i find the time. stay deer.